I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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