erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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