i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
