if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
