Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
