she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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