he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
