Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
