Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
