C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
