I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
