My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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