69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
