U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
