just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
