Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
