I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
