There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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