my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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