don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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