she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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