i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
