we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
