He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
