i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
