haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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