Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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