Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
