So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
