I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Randomize
