If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
