we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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