Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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