it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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