I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
