"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
