just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
