Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
