Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
two words: eviction party
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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