He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We were destined to go to rehab together
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
