You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
