Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
