At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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