honey bunches of taint.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
