So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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