i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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