just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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