just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
