nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
