found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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